Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

On Friendship and Being Yourself

Journal Entry: Fri Nov 30, 2012, 6:43 AM
  • Mood: Hungry
  • Listening to: T'ai Chi Music for Relaxation
  • Reading: Nothing ATM
  • Drinking: Need Water!!
Years ago, I had mentioned my thoughts on friendship and I really feel the need recently to talk about once more. No I don't plan on being that deep (it's 8:03 right now as I type this and I am a master and not getting up until 9:00 in the morning) nor do I plan on getting in this HUGE journal about it. I just really feel like expressing my thoughts on friendship- namely on the forming of friendships.
I'm of the opinion that real friendships are formed naturally. Sometimes they happen automatically. Sometime it happens over time. For me it's a bit of both- I've met friends that I've only talked to once or twice and they are instantly my friends, plus I have friends I've grown to consider friends after quite a bit of time. Thus it really makes me sad to see it when people try to force a friendship on someone. I know it sounds strange but it's happened various times in the past as well as recently.
When you try to force a friendship out of someone it's feels like someone you don't really know is trying to pressure you into telling certain personal things or do certain things with them under the guise of friendship. It's a pretty crappy feeling not just for the person whose feeling the pressure but the person whose putting the pressure on the other person. I'm sorry but I don't really think it's right. I don't do well with pressure from people I don't really know much less don't really feel safe with saying certain personal things about myself.
I also- personally- don't believe in being anyone else other then me (unless I'm acting while in cosplay but that's something else) when I'm online as well as off it, and acting all buddy buddy with a few people I've barely met- if I met them at all -feels like faking it and I just hate hate hate doing that. I lost track of the girls whom I watched do that in high school as well as suffered it when others did it to me. It drove me insane as well as really pissed me off. I know I hold those I don't really know or don't really speak to all that much at a distance but it's mostly cause I don't want to trouble you guys with stuff that I deal with as it's stuff that we all deal with sometimes and who likes to hear people bitch about it? Not many. Plus I don't want to seem like one of those whiny girls who complains on the internet about their life and their problems. I don't mind talking to certain people about that kind of stuff if to help relate to them and help them through a rough situation which we've all had sometime or another.
I also have dealt with my fair share of creepers in the past and they have both alarmed as well as disturbed me. Thus it takes time to earn my trust as well as my respect which are two vital things for friendships to form.
So I just CAN'T bring myself to be friends with someone just because they say go. Plus wouldn't you want to be friends with someone because they want to be friends with you as well? I kinda think so.
I'm not saying I don't want to be friends with you all or that I don't want to meet you all one day. Cause I do, I really really do. You guys are my muses, and my inspiration. You guys encourage me to do even better then before just like my friends among the various cosplay groups as well as my cosplay family. I'm just asking you all to be yourself if we ever meet or when we chat. I want to get to know you all as yourselves. You don't need to try to hard by commenting on my every tweet, Facebook status, tumblr post, or picture update. Just a small like or a note here or there means a lot to me and it's how I've met quite a few of my friends both in and out of cosplay. For me just a little effort goes a long way. Plus with just a random like or a little comment here or there is enough to make me smile and consider making you an internet friend. At least that's just me and that's what I think on the subject. We're all different and I respect that, I just ask that you respect my thoughts and wishes as well.

Proud founder of the cosplay family We *Heart* Cardgames Productions along with:
:iconmalindachan: :iconex-shadow:

We're not a club, we're a family.

"This is the team. We're trying to go to the moon. If you can't put someone up, please don't put them down"- NASA motto

"Courage is the magic that turns dreams into reality"
-Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World

"If you live on by believing in your own potential then you're bound to change the future"
-Izayoi Aki, Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's episode 140 :blackrose:

"My Friends are my power, and I'm theirs!"
-Ventus, Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep

"Life is all about resolve. Outcome is secondary. It is resolve that determines the value of your life."
-Okami
Add a Comment:
 
:iconthepoetryninja:
ThePoetryNinja Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012
I can understand that. It seems to be common place on social networking sites to force yourself on people to become your friend. A lot of folks seem to think "the more friends I have, the more people will like me." The true fact of the matter is that even though you may consider them a friend, that however does not mean they feel the same thought. So as you have said and as I will say, when you wish to create friendship here in the social-networking world, make sure it means something and it is for the good of you and that person.
Reply
:iconsorceresscassandra:
SorceressCassandra Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes yes yes yes! Thank you so much!

That's my thoughts exactly. :hug:
Reply
:iconkjcrazy:
KJCrazy Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Best frendship speech ever!

I can't really say that someone ever tried to force a frindship on me, but I guess that's something that happens to you a lot as a known internet-person lol
Reply
:iconsorceresscassandra:
SorceressCassandra Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I try not to think of my self as that (I'd feel too big headed if I did). But it's not something that I think anyone would like, trust me on that one.
Reply
:iconkjcrazy:
KJCrazy Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
my how modest you are~
Reply
:iconmazzthegreat:
MazzTheGreat Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Couldn't have been said better. :nod:
Reply
:iconsorceresscassandra:
SorceressCassandra Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks! :aww:
Reply
:iconcocokanadechan:
CocoKanadeChan Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
-nod nod- You said it all... :nod:
Reply
:iconsorceresscassandra:
SorceressCassandra Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks! :aww:
Reply
:iconblackfireryu:
blackfireryu Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
<3
Reply
:iconsorceresscassandra:
SorceressCassandra Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug: :hug: :hug:
Reply
:iconrikugirl21:
RikuGirl21 Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Student General Artist
Finally! Someone who truely understands the great mentality of friendship! ^^ <3
You madam, are an awesome person, and I hope to meet you someday & have awesome convertations with you about cosplay & life. ^^
Reply
:iconsorceresscassandra:
SorceressCassandra Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks hun! And I'm glad you agree with me. Nowadays it really seems so askew.

And thanks agian. :blushes: I do hope to meet you as well someday. :nod:
Reply
:iconhyogoko:
Hyogoko Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Student Filmographer
I totally agree, I think all relationships should form naturally, platonic or romantic, whatever the case. If people are really meant to be friends, it will happen. There's no need to rush. I like to take things as they come and go, go with the flow and I like passing that on to others if they accept it. So yes I totally agree with you, people don't need to try so hard, they just need to take it naturally. :)
Reply
:iconsorceresscassandra:
SorceressCassandra Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well said! And I agree with you whole heartedly. If you're bound to be friends with someone then it'll happen. :nod:
Reply
:iconayumi--sama:
Ayumi--Sama Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
Well said! I completely agree with you in so many ways. It's just wrong to be in those types of force friendship. Things like that happened to me in high school. Everyone wanted to be my friend because of my grades. They only wanted to copy my work...don't worry,it didn't last that long. I quickly learn it was unfair & ppl just wanted to use me. That resulted in almost having no friends.

Most of the girls would think I was a stuck up & that was a b****. Why? Just because I spoke my mind saying its unfair that they want to copy my work.

Today I don't talk to any friends from high school. Not because I want to be mean, but because I never had anything in common with then. It was forced in some way. Not only that, they never care.I've been very lucky to have 1 true friend that I made in college. :3 we been friends for almost 5 years now.

i also feel blessed to have some wonderful friends here on DA & twitter. :3

True friendship just happens or takes time. :heart: It's important be to be yourself & not to try too hard. It shows, believe me. And no one likes to feel pressured. Good luck & always speak your mind if you feel pressured. (・ω・)ノ
Reply
:iconsorceresscassandra:
SorceressCassandra Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well said. And thank you so very much! ^^
Reply
:iconcardgames33:
cardgames33 Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
thats a really great view on friendship. i feel the same way. forced friendships are the worst. and i cant sya ay im always myself cause im so shy and whatnot, but i believe you should also be yourself online as well as offline. i enjoyed reading your thoughts :)
Reply
:iconsorceresscassandra:
SorceressCassandra Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks hun! I have to say I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so.
Reply
:iconcardgames33:
cardgames33 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
no problem ^_^
Reply
:iconeleksin:
Eleksin Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Gah now I'm getting a bit self conscious of asking you for pictures together at Naka-kon. I hope I wasn't creepy sounding in any way. I know what you mean though. I have had people try to force their way into being friends with me when I only met them once at a convention. I'm not sure how to deal with it myself.
Reply
:iconsorceresscassandra:
SorceressCassandra Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh no! No no! You weren't creepy asking me at all. In fact I'm actually looking foreward to this to be honest.

Oh! And I sounds like I may work on Season 3 Zuko first before I work on Fire Lord Zuko namely cause I don't quite have the money and materials.
Reply
:iconeleksin:
Eleksin Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
If you bring the season 3 version of him I will 100% have Toph at Naka. It's been daunting trying to figure how to to go about making adult Toph because of all that armor and I wasn't sure I would be able to make it for Naka since I have another important cosplay I am working on for the competition. This would make things way easier!
Reply
:iconsorceresscassandra:
SorceressCassandra Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Sweet! And I know how you feel. I was actually staring at the picture that they made of Fire Lord Zuko wondering how the hell I was going to do that wig as well as the little bit of armor (I would like to make it out of pleather if I could. And your competing? Awesome! May ask if your in the cosplay contest or the skit contest?
Reply
:iconeleksin:
Eleksin Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Just cosplay with some of the members in my group Crosslines. We're only partial since one of our members is going to be a judge for the contest this year. Are you planning to do a skit again this year? I've missed your groups skits at Naka!
Reply
:iconsorceresscassandra:
SorceressCassandra Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah! I may have to check that out. Can't say I've heard of that one before but I'm pretty game for new stuff.

And nope, not this year anyway.
Reply
:iconeleksin:
Eleksin Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Ah that's a bummer. I can't wait to see the next one though. Naka-kon is going to be super exciting this year. I'm aiming for the top in the cosplay contest again so I'll be sure to bring my most impressive work.
Reply
:iconsorceresscassandra:
SorceressCassandra Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Sweet! Can't wait to see it! ^^
Reply
:iconsarahalexis13:
Sarahalexis13 Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
cool :)
Reply
:iconballetgala:
BalletGala Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
Very well put, and very true.
One kind of a forced friendship I hate is when someone wants to be your friend because of someone you know. That drives me crazy! Especially when I don't actually know the person, I've just met them once or twice and never really talked to them.
Reply
:iconpiperonni:
Piperonni Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Completely agree. I've been in similar situations. I would rather my friendships happen naturally. C:
Reply
:iconisakiyukihara:
IsakiYukihara Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Professional Interface Designer
So true :D True friends often meet automatically but stay true to each other in emergency situations <3
Reply
:iconmana-ryou:
Mana-Ryou Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I understand how you feel. I've got a similar situation in school and it's horrible :| I agree with what your saying, every word of it :)
Reply
:icongrayicefullbuster:
GrayIceFullBuster Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
I agree with you. I wouldn't like people to force friendship on me. It's best to get to know them a little bit before becoming friends :)
Reply
:iconsignerlcie:
SignerlCie Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
High five to you there girlie.~ I've been having to do that with people recently because I've been dealing with people who force friendship on me and it's...disturbing. I actually think they're using me to get some cosplay status at times, but other times they seem to be alright. It can be a confusing situation that I'm not really fond of.

But hey, I consider you a friend sweetie, especially since we've talked so much in person as well as taking time to do so on the internet too. c: But I agree, it's not fair to force someone into a friendship, it's much more amusing to talk to them, learn what makes them tick.~

So I wish you luck in dealing with these issues honey! Looks like we all have our own set of people trying to force friendship on us.~
Reply
:iconakumabaka:
Akumabaka Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
That's how I feel on most things online and offline. I would rather it be natural.
Reply
:iconsorceresscassandra:
SorceressCassandra Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Amen to that my friend. :nod: :hug:
Can't wait to see you! ^^
Reply
:iconakumabaka:
Akumabaka Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Can't wait to see you too!
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
November 30, 2012
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,802 (1 today)
Favourites
11 (who?)
Comments
38
×